Calendars Gifts for Employees

365 days of reminders that this is fine. Everything is fine. Because 'we're like a family here' doesn't pay rent.

Why This Works

Regular calendars show you inspirational quotes about believing in yourself. Our calendars show you the truth: that every day is another opportunity to question your life choices. A daily tear-off page of dark humor gives you something to look forward to each morning besides coffee. It's like a daily affirmation, but honest.

Let's be honest: your employees are tired. They've sat through your 'quick syncs' that run 45 minutes, smiled through mandatory fun events, and pretended to be excited about the new expense report system. They deserve more than a company-branded water bottle and a LinkedIn endorsement. Finding a gift that actually lands means acknowledging the absurdity of corporate life while showing genuine appreciation. It's the difference between 'my boss gets it' and 'my boss read a Forbes article about millennial engagement.'

What You Get

-365 daily pages of workplace-appropriate(ish) dark humor
-Sturdy cardboard backing that stands on its own
-Perforated pages for satisfying daily tears
-Compact desktop size that fits any workspace

Shop by Their Profession

Find calendars designed for their specific job.

Nurses CNAs EMTs Paramedics Pharmacy Techs Lab Techs Phlebotomists Dental Assistants Vet Techs Police Officers Firefighters Dispatchers 911 Operators Corrections Officers Search and Rescue Corporate Workers Work From Home HR Professionals Accountants Managers Receptionists Electricians Plumbers Welders HVAC Techs Mechanics Machinists General Labor Heavy Equipment Operators Foremen Site Supervisors Bartenders Servers Baristas Retail Workers Hotel Staff Teachers Teacher Aides School Administrators Professors Bus Drivers Warehouse Workers Truck Drivers Delivery Drivers Fulfillment Workers DMV Workers Postal Workers City Workers Sysadmins Developers Help Desk Doctors Surgeons Physical Therapists Occupational Therapists Speech Therapists Medical Assistants Home Health Aides Hospice Workers Radiologists Lawyers Paralegals Legal Assistants Judges Bankers Financial Advisors Insurance Agents Loan Officers Auditors Realtors Property Managers Appraisers Mortgage Brokers Sales Reps Account Executives Car Salespeople Graphic Designers Photographers Videographers Copywriters UX Designers Hairstylists Barbers Estheticians Nail Techs Massage Therapists Chefs Line Cooks Bakers Butchers Sommeliers Personal Trainers Yoga Instructors Gym Staff Nannies Daycare Workers Dog Groomers Vet Assistants Dog Walkers Pet Sitters Roofers Painters Carpenters Locksmiths Landscapers Pool Cleaners Pilots Flight Attendants Uber/Lyft Drivers Train Conductors Security Guards Bouncers Private Investigators Janitors Housekeepers Window Cleaners Farmers Ranchers Florists Dental Hygienists

Gift Ideas

*Actual bonuses (revolutionary concept, we know)
*Extra PTO days presented in a fake ceremonial certificate
*Noise-canceling headphones so they can ignore you in peace
*A 'Get Out of Meeting Free' card (make it official, coward)
*High-quality desk accessories that aren't plastered with the company logo

Get Calendars Ideas

Get team gift ideas that show you're not a corporate robot.

Other Gift Types for Employees

Stickers Mugs Desk Plates Mousepads Posters Coasters Tote Bags

Frequently Asked Questions

What year is the calendar for?: Current year calendars ship immediately. We drop next year's edition in Q4. Sign up for the email list to get notified.
Is every day different?: Yes. 365 unique pages of dark humor, sarcastic observations, and workplace truths. No repeats, just like your recurring sense of dread.
How big is it?: Standard desk calendar size (4.5" x 4.5") with a sturdy backing. Fits on any desk without taking over your already limited workspace.
Are these appropriate for a shared workspace?: Most days are office-safe. Some might raise eyebrows. But if your coworkers don't appreciate dark humor, are they really your people?

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