Raunchy Tote Bags
HR's nightmare. Your work bestie's dream. Know your audience. Find the perfect tote bags that matches your energy level.
Why Raunchy Tote Bags
Gifts that cross the line—intentionally. These are not for the break room fridge or the all-hands meeting. They're for private exchanges between people who share a very specific sense of humor and have already established that boundaries are optional. Adults only, consenting parties only, HR-free zones only.
Your commute bag is a daily statement piece whether you like it or not. Instead of a boring black laptop bag or a free tote from a conference, why not carry something that makes people on the train do a double-take? These bags hold everything you need while broadcasting exactly how you feel about Monday mornings.
Fair Warning
- !Not suitable for professional gift exchanges
- !Know your recipient VERY well before purchasing
- !May contain adult language, themes, or imagery
- !Could definitely get you talked to by management
What You Get
- +Heavy-duty canvas that survives the commute and your career
- +Reinforced straps for hauling all your work baggage (literal and emotional)
- +Interior pocket for keys, phone, or emergency snacks
- +Machine washable for when life gets messy
Shop by Profession
Get First Access
New tote designs coming soon. Get on the list to carry your stuff in style. New raunchy designs drop regularly.
Perfect For
- Daily commutes that need entertainment
- Grocery runs after work because you're already out
- Gym bags for stress relief sessions
- Library runs for those of us who read to escape
- Farmer's market trips on your hard-earned days off
Need Something More Work-Safe?
Browse Office-Appropriate Tote BagsFrequently Asked Questions
- How big are the tote bags?
- 15" x 16" with a 4" gusset - fits a laptop, lunch, and the emotional weight of your responsibilities. Handles have an 11" drop for easy shoulder carrying.
- What material are they?
- Heavy-duty 12oz canvas. These aren't flimsy grocery store bags - they're built to carry your stuff through whatever your commute throws at you.
- Can I wash them?
- Yes. Machine wash cold, tumble dry low. They're designed to handle real life, which means coffee spills and mystery stains from public transit.
- Will the print crack or peel?
- Nope. We use screen printing that's embedded in the fabric, not sitting on top. It'll last longer than most of your coworkers.