Raunchy Calendars

HR's nightmare. Your work bestie's dream. Know your audience. Find the perfect calendars that matches your energy level.

Why Raunchy Calendars

Gifts that cross the line—intentionally. These are not for the break room fridge or the all-hands meeting. They're for private exchanges between people who share a very specific sense of humor and have already established that boundaries are optional. Adults only, consenting parties only, HR-free zones only.

Regular calendars show you inspirational quotes about believing in yourself. Our calendars show you the truth: that every day is another opportunity to question your life choices. A daily tear-off page of dark humor gives you something to look forward to each morning besides coffee. It's like a daily affirmation, but honest.

Fair Warning

!Not suitable for professional gift exchanges
!Know your recipient VERY well before purchasing
!May contain adult language, themes, or imagery
!Could definitely get you talked to by management

What You Get

+365 daily pages of workplace-appropriate(ish) dark humor
+Sturdy cardboard backing that stands on its own
+Perforated pages for satisfying daily tears
+Compact desktop size that fits any workspace

Shop by Profession

Nurses CNAs EMTs Paramedics Pharmacy Techs Lab Techs Phlebotomists Dental Assistants Vet Techs Police Officers Firefighters Dispatchers 911 Operators Corrections Officers Search and Rescue Corporate Workers Work From Home HR Professionals Accountants Managers Receptionists Electricians Plumbers Welders HVAC Techs Mechanics Machinists General Labor Heavy Equipment Operators Foremen Site Supervisors Bartenders Servers Baristas Retail Workers Hotel Staff Teachers Teacher Aides School Administrators Professors Bus Drivers Warehouse Workers Truck Drivers Delivery Drivers Fulfillment Workers DMV Workers Postal Workers City Workers Sysadmins Developers Help Desk Doctors Surgeons Physical Therapists Occupational Therapists Speech Therapists Medical Assistants Home Health Aides Hospice Workers Radiologists Lawyers Paralegals Legal Assistants Judges Bankers Financial Advisors Insurance Agents Loan Officers Auditors Realtors Property Managers Appraisers Mortgage Brokers Sales Reps Account Executives Car Salespeople Graphic Designers Photographers Videographers Copywriters UX Designers Hairstylists Barbers Estheticians Nail Techs Massage Therapists Chefs Line Cooks Bakers Butchers Sommeliers Personal Trainers Yoga Instructors Gym Staff Nannies Daycare Workers Dog Groomers Vet Assistants Dog Walkers Pet Sitters Roofers Painters Carpenters Locksmiths Landscapers Pool Cleaners Pilots Flight Attendants Uber/Lyft Drivers Train Conductors Security Guards Bouncers Private Investigators Janitors Housekeepers Window Cleaners Farmers Ranchers Florists Dental Hygienists

Get First Access

Next year's calendar is in the works. Get on the list to be first in line for 365 days of relatable misery. New raunchy designs drop regularly.

Perfect For

Desks that need daily entertainment
People who've given up on inspirational quotes
Teams who share a dark sense of humor
White elephant gifts that people actually want
Anyone counting down to retirement, vacation, or the heat death of the universe

Other Raunchy Products

Stickers Mugs Desk Plates Mousepads Posters Coasters Tote Bags

Need Something More Work-Safe?

Browse Office-Appropriate Calendars

Frequently Asked Questions

What year is the calendar for?: Current year calendars ship immediately. We drop next year's edition in Q4. Sign up for the email list to get notified.
Is every day different?: Yes. 365 unique pages of dark humor, sarcastic observations, and workplace truths. No repeats, just like your recurring sense of dread.
How big is it?: Standard desk calendar size (4.5" x 4.5") with a sturdy backing. Fits on any desk without taking over your already limited workspace.
Are these appropriate for a shared workspace?: Most days are office-safe. Some might raise eyebrows. But if your coworkers don't appreciate dark humor, are they really your people?

← All Raunchy Home