Calendars Gifts for Clients

365 days of reminders that this is fine. Everything is fine. Appreciation that's tax deductible.

Why This Works

Regular calendars show you inspirational quotes about believing in yourself. Our calendars show you the truth: that every day is another opportunity to question your life choices. A daily tear-off page of dark humor gives you something to look forward to each morning besides coffee. It's like a daily affirmation, but honest.

Clients are the reason you have a job, which makes gift-giving both essential and terrifying. Go too cheap and you signal 'you're not that important to us.' Go too expensive and you trigger their compliance department's gift policy alarm bells. Go too funny and you risk offending the one stakeholder who doesn't get your vibe. The goal is professional appreciation with a hint of personality—enough to be memorable, not enough to be forwarded to legal. It's basically a bribe but make it classy.

What You Get

-365 daily pages of workplace-appropriate(ish) dark humor
-Sturdy cardboard backing that stands on its own
-Perforated pages for satisfying daily tears
-Compact desktop size that fits any workspace

Shop by Their Profession

Find calendars designed for their specific job.

Nurses CNAs EMTs Paramedics Pharmacy Techs Lab Techs Phlebotomists Dental Assistants Vet Techs Police Officers Firefighters Dispatchers 911 Operators Corrections Officers Search and Rescue Corporate Workers Work From Home HR Professionals Accountants Managers Receptionists Electricians Plumbers Welders HVAC Techs Mechanics Machinists General Labor Heavy Equipment Operators Foremen Site Supervisors Bartenders Servers Baristas Retail Workers Hotel Staff Teachers Teacher Aides School Administrators Professors Bus Drivers Warehouse Workers Truck Drivers Delivery Drivers Fulfillment Workers DMV Workers Postal Workers City Workers Sysadmins Developers Help Desk Doctors Surgeons Physical Therapists Occupational Therapists Speech Therapists Medical Assistants Home Health Aides Hospice Workers Radiologists Lawyers Paralegals Legal Assistants Judges Bankers Financial Advisors Insurance Agents Loan Officers Auditors Realtors Property Managers Appraisers Mortgage Brokers Sales Reps Account Executives Car Salespeople Graphic Designers Photographers Videographers Copywriters UX Designers Hairstylists Barbers Estheticians Nail Techs Massage Therapists Chefs Line Cooks Bakers Butchers Sommeliers Personal Trainers Yoga Instructors Gym Staff Nannies Daycare Workers Dog Groomers Vet Assistants Dog Walkers Pet Sitters Roofers Painters Carpenters Locksmiths Landscapers Pool Cleaners Pilots Flight Attendants Uber/Lyft Drivers Train Conductors Security Guards Bouncers Private Investigators Janitors Housekeepers Window Cleaners Farmers Ranchers Florists Dental Hygienists

Gift Ideas

*High-end branded items that don't look like swag from a 2008 trade show
*Gourmet food baskets (everyone eats, offends no one)
*Experience gifts like fancy dinners or event tickets (bill it to client entertainment)
*Premium desk accessories with subtle branding that actually looks good
*A charitable donation in their name (for the client who has everything and needs the tax write-off)

Get Calendars Ideas

Get client gift ideas that won't trigger their compliance department.

Other Gift Types for Clients

Stickers Mugs Desk Plates Mousepads Posters Coasters Tote Bags

Frequently Asked Questions

What year is the calendar for?: Current year calendars ship immediately. We drop next year's edition in Q4. Sign up for the email list to get notified.
Is every day different?: Yes. 365 unique pages of dark humor, sarcastic observations, and workplace truths. No repeats, just like your recurring sense of dread.
How big is it?: Standard desk calendar size (4.5" x 4.5") with a sturdy backing. Fits on any desk without taking over your already limited workspace.
Are these appropriate for a shared workspace?: Most days are office-safe. Some might raise eyebrows. But if your coworkers don't appreciate dark humor, are they really your people?

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