Personalized Desk Calendars

Nothing says 'I put in effort' like their name on something mildly insulting. Find the perfect calendars for every profession.

Why Personalized Calendars

Custom gifts that prove you didn't just grab something last minute. Add names, inside jokes, specific roasts, or dates that mean something. Personalization transforms a gift from 'nice' to 'okay, you really know me.' The extra effort shows.

Regular calendars show you inspirational quotes about believing in yourself. Our calendars show you the truth: that every day is another opportunity to question your life choices. A daily tear-off page of dark humor gives you something to look forward to each morning besides coffee. It's like a daily affirmation, but honest.

What You Get

+365 daily pages of workplace-appropriate(ish) dark humor
+Sturdy cardboard backing that stands on its own
+Perforated pages for satisfying daily tears
+Compact desktop size that fits any workspace

Best For

Work anniversaries and milestones
Gifts between close work friends
Retirement presents with personal touches
Desks that need daily entertainment
People who've given up on inspirational quotes
Teams who share a dark sense of humor

Shop by Profession

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Get First Access

Next year's calendar is in the works. Get on the list to be first in line for 365 days of relatable misery. Be first to see new personalized designs.

Other Personalized Products

Personalized Stickers Personalized Mugs Personalized Desk Plates Personalized Mousepads Personalized Posters Personalized Coasters Personalized Tote Bags

Calendars in Other Styles

Funny Practical Luxury Gag Unique

Frequently Asked Questions

What year is the calendar for?: Current year calendars ship immediately. We drop next year's edition in Q4. Sign up for the email list to get notified.
Is every day different?: Yes. 365 unique pages of dark humor, sarcastic observations, and workplace truths. No repeats, just like your recurring sense of dread.
How big is it?: Standard desk calendar size (4.5" x 4.5") with a sturdy backing. Fits on any desk without taking over your already limited workspace.
Are these appropriate for a shared workspace?: Most days are office-safe. Some might raise eyebrows. But if your coworkers don't appreciate dark humor, are they really your people?

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