Sarcastic Gifts Mousepads for Private Investigators
For when 'per my last email' isn't enough. The perfect sarcastic gifts mousepads for the private investigators in your life.
Why Sarcastic Gifts Mousepads for Private Investigators
Private investigation is patience meets persistence. You do the work that requires sitting in cars and sifting through data.
Sarcasm is the unofficial language of every office. It's how we survive meetings that could've been emails, celebrate 'mandatory fun,' and express our deepest feelings about the reply-all button. These gifts speak fluent eye-roll and translate corporate speak into what everyone's actually thinking. Perfect for anyone who's mastered the art of saying one thing while meaning the exact opposite.
The Vibe
- “Oh wow, another meeting”
- “I'm not arguing, I'm explaining why I'm right”
- “Sure, I'd love to help with that”
- “This is fine (everything is on fire)”
What You Get
- +Smooth fabric surface for precision clicking through pointless emails
- +Non-slip rubber base that stays put during rage-clicking
- +Stitched edges that won't fray like your patience
- +Machine washable because desk snacks happen
Perfect For
- The coworker who communicates exclusively in air quotes
- Anyone who's ever said 'fascinating' without meaning it
- Desks that need a conversation starter (or stopper)
- Home offices where you control the vibe
- Work bags with personality
- Water bottles for stakeouts
Get First Access
Private investigator stickers coming soon. Get on the list.
Related Professions
Other Vibes for Private Investigators
Frequently Asked Questions
- Are these gifts actually sarcastic or just kind of rude?
- They walk the beautiful line between witty and slightly unhinged. Plausible deniability included at no extra charge.
- Will my coworker know I'm being sarcastic?
- That's the beauty of it. Smart ones will get it. The others will think you're being nice. Win-win.
- What size are the mousepads?
- Standard size (9.25" x 7.75") that fits any desk setup. Large enough to use, small enough to hide if the CEO does a walkthrough.
- Are these about stakeouts?
- Some are. The waiting is real.