Petty Gifts Tote Bags for Bouncers

Because revenge is a dish best served with a gift receipt. The perfect petty gifts tote bags for the bouncers in your life.

Why Petty Gifts Tote Bags for Bouncers

Bouncing is people management at its most unpredictable. You're the first and last line of defense for everyone's good time.

Being petty gets a bad reputation, but honestly? It's self-care. It's acknowledging the small injustices—the stolen parking spot, the meeting that went 45 minutes over, the 'quick question' that was neither—and responding with proportional pettiness. These gifts celebrate the art of being just slightly vindictive in a socially acceptable way.

The Vibe

  • This meeting could've been an email (framed)
  • Congrats on doing the bare minimum
  • I remembered what you said in 2019
  • Per my last email, which you clearly didn't read

What You Get

  • +Heavy-duty canvas that survives the commute and your career
  • +Reinforced straps for hauling all your work baggage (literal and emotional)
  • +Interior pocket for keys, phone, or emergency snacks
  • +Machine washable for when life gets messy

Perfect For

  • Anyone who's ever kept receipts (metaphorically)
  • People with excellent memories for minor slights
  • Daily commutes that need entertainment
  • Grocery runs after work because you're already out
  • Personal items with personality
  • Water bottles on shift

Get First Access

Bouncer stickers in development. Join the list.

Other Petty Gifts Products for Bouncers

Frequently Asked Questions

Is being petty really the answer?
Is it THE answer? No. Is it AN answer that provides emotional satisfaction? Absolutely.
What's the difference between petty and passive aggressive?
Passive aggressive avoids confrontation. Petty confronts, just in really small, annoying ways.
How big are the tote bags?
15" x 16" with a 4" gusset - fits a laptop, lunch, and the emotional weight of your responsibilities. Handles have an 11" drop for easy shoulder carrying.
Are these about drunk people?
Some are. The stories are endless.