Petty Gifts Desk Plates for Security Guards

Because revenge is a dish best served with a gift receipt. The perfect petty gifts desk plates for the security guards in your life.

Why Petty Gifts Desk Plates for Security Guards

Security work is vigilance punctuated by chaos. You're essential but often invisible until something goes wrong.

Being petty gets a bad reputation, but honestly? It's self-care. It's acknowledging the small injustices—the stolen parking spot, the meeting that went 45 minutes over, the 'quick question' that was neither—and responding with proportional pettiness. These gifts celebrate the art of being just slightly vindictive in a socially acceptable way.

The Vibe

  • This meeting could've been an email (framed)
  • Congrats on doing the bare minimum
  • I remembered what you said in 2019
  • Per my last email, which you clearly didn't read

What You Get

  • +Premium acrylic that looks expensive but costs less than your therapy
  • +Sleek design that fits any desk setup from corner office to closet office
  • +Easy-clean surface because coffee accidents happen
  • +Subtle enough to survive management walkthroughs

Perfect For

  • Anyone who's ever kept receipts (metaphorically)
  • People with excellent memories for minor slights
  • Desks that need more personality than a corporate-issued pencil cup
  • Home offices where you make the rules
  • Work bags with personality
  • Water bottles on post

Get First Access

Security guard stickers coming soon. Get on the list.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Is being petty really the answer?
Is it THE answer? No. Is it AN answer that provides emotional satisfaction? Absolutely.
What's the difference between petty and passive aggressive?
Passive aggressive avoids confrontation. Petty confronts, just in really small, annoying ways.
What are the desk plates made of?
Premium acrylic with a high-quality print. They look professional enough to keep, but funny enough to actually want on your desk.
Are these about long shifts?
Some are. The boredom-to-chaos ratio is real.