Dark Humor Gifts Tote Bags for Baristas
Because sometimes you have to laugh to keep from screaming into the void. The perfect dark humor gifts tote bags for the baristas in your life.
Why Dark Humor Gifts Tote Bags for Baristas
Barista work is fast-paced, detailed, and underappreciated. You're an artist, chemist, and therapist before most people are awake. These stickers get the coffee grind.
Dark humor isn't pessimism—it's advanced optimism. It's acknowledging that work can be soul-crushing while choosing to laugh about it anyway. These gifts are for the realists, the survivors, and anyone who's ever stared into the abyss of their inbox and felt it stare back. If gallows humor is your love language, welcome home.
The Vibe
- “I survived another meeting that should've been an email”
- “My soul left my body in Q3”
- “Dead inside but still clocking in”
- “This job is temporary. My resentment is forever.”
What You Get
- +Heavy-duty canvas that survives the commute and your career
- +Reinforced straps for hauling all your work baggage (literal and emotional)
- +Interior pocket for keys, phone, or emergency snacks
- +Machine washable for when life gets messy
Perfect For
- Healthcare workers who've seen some things
- Anyone in their third career pivot
- Daily commutes that need entertainment
- Grocery runs after work because you're already out
- Personal tumblers with attitude
- Apron pins and flair
Get First Access
Barista stickers coming soon. Get on the list.
Related Professions
Other Vibes for Baristas
Frequently Asked Questions
- Is dark humor the same as being negative?
- No, it's being realistic with a sense of humor. Negative people complain. We make merch.
- Will HR have a problem with these gifts?
- HR has problems with everything. That's kind of their whole deal. But these are designed to be just vague enough.
- How big are the tote bags?
- 15" x 16" with a 4" gusset - fits a laptop, lunch, and the emotional weight of your responsibilities. Handles have an 11" drop for easy shoulder carrying.
- Are these about difficult orders?
- Some are. The 27-modification drink gets its moment.