Dark Humor Gifts Tote Bags

Because sometimes you have to laugh to keep from screaming into the void. Find the perfect tote bags that matches your energy.

Why Dark Humor Gifts Tote Bags

Dark humor isn't pessimism—it's advanced optimism. It's acknowledging that work can be soul-crushing while choosing to laugh about it anyway. These gifts are for the realists, the survivors, and anyone who's ever stared into the abyss of their inbox and felt it stare back. If gallows humor is your love language, welcome home.

Your commute bag is a daily statement piece whether you like it or not. Instead of a boring black laptop bag or a free tote from a conference, why not carry something that makes people on the train do a double-take? These bags hold everything you need while broadcasting exactly how you feel about Monday mornings.

The Vibe

  • I survived another meeting that should've been an email
  • My soul left my body in Q3
  • Dead inside but still clocking in
  • This job is temporary. My resentment is forever.

What You Get

  • +Heavy-duty canvas that survives the commute and your career
  • +Reinforced straps for hauling all your work baggage (literal and emotional)
  • +Interior pocket for keys, phone, or emergency snacks
  • +Machine washable for when life gets messy

Get First Access

Subscribe for dark humor that matches your outlook on corporate life. Misery loves company, and we've got plenty. New tote designs coming soon. Get on the list to carry your stuff in style.

Perfect For

  • Healthcare workers who've seen some things
  • Anyone in their third career pivot
  • People who describe their job as 'fine' while their eye twitches
  • Coworkers who bond over shared workplace trauma
  • Daily commutes that need entertainment
  • Grocery runs after work because you're already out
  • Gym bags for stress relief sessions
  • Library runs for those of us who read to escape

Frequently Asked Questions

Is dark humor the same as being negative?
No, it's being realistic with a sense of humor. Negative people complain. We make merch.
Will HR have a problem with these gifts?
HR has problems with everything. That's kind of their whole deal. But these are designed to be just vague enough.
How big are the tote bags?
15" x 16" with a 4" gusset - fits a laptop, lunch, and the emotional weight of your responsibilities. Handles have an 11" drop for easy shoulder carrying.
What material are they?
Heavy-duty 12oz canvas. These aren't flimsy grocery store bags - they're built to carry your stuff through whatever your commute throws at you.