Dark Humor Gifts Mousepads for Butchers
Because sometimes you have to laugh to keep from screaming into the void. The perfect dark humor gifts mousepads for the butchers in your life.
Why Dark Humor Gifts Mousepads for Butchers
Butchery is skilled craft work in cold conditions. You're an artist with a knife and an educator for everyone's dinner.
Dark humor isn't pessimism—it's advanced optimism. It's acknowledging that work can be soul-crushing while choosing to laugh about it anyway. These gifts are for the realists, the survivors, and anyone who's ever stared into the abyss of their inbox and felt it stare back. If gallows humor is your love language, welcome home.
The Vibe
- “I survived another meeting that should've been an email”
- “My soul left my body in Q3”
- “Dead inside but still clocking in”
- “This job is temporary. My resentment is forever.”
What You Get
- +Smooth fabric surface for precision clicking through pointless emails
- +Non-slip rubber base that stays put during rage-clicking
- +Stitched edges that won't fray like your patience
- +Machine washable because desk snacks happen
Perfect For
- Healthcare workers who've seen some things
- Anyone in their third career pivot
- Desks that need a conversation starter (or stopper)
- Home offices where you control the vibe
- Aprons with personality
- Water bottles at work
Get First Access
Butcher stickers in development. Join the list.
Related Professions
Other Vibes for Butchers
Frequently Asked Questions
- Is dark humor the same as being negative?
- No, it's being realistic with a sense of humor. Negative people complain. We make merch.
- Will HR have a problem with these gifts?
- HR has problems with everything. That's kind of their whole deal. But these are designed to be just vague enough.
- What size are the mousepads?
- Standard size (9.25" x 7.75") that fits any desk setup. Large enough to use, small enough to hide if the CEO does a walkthrough.
- Are these about explaining cuts?
- Some are. The ribeye vs NY strip conversation is eternal.