Gag Calendars for Line Cooks

Maximum chaos. Minimal regret. Okay, maybe some regret. The perfect calendars for the line cooks in your life.

Why Gag Calendars for Line Cooks

Line cooking is the backbone of every restaurant. You're underpaid, overheated, and somehow still proud of every plate.

Pure joke gifts designed for the laugh, not the long haul. These might end up in a drawer after the initial reaction, but that reaction will be legendary. Perfect for white elephants, roasting your work bestie, or any situation where memorable beats meaningful.

About Our Calendars

Regular calendars show you inspirational quotes about believing in yourself. Our calendars show you the truth: that every day is another opportunity to question your life choices. A daily tear-off page of dark humor gives you something to look forward to each morning besides coffee. It's like a daily affirmation, but honest.

What You Get

  • +365 daily pages of workplace-appropriate(ish) dark humor
  • +Sturdy cardboard backing that stands on its own
  • +Perforated pages for satisfying daily tears
  • +Compact desktop size that fits any workspace

Perfect For

  • White elephant exchanges
  • Farewell roasts for departing coworkers
  • Desks that need daily entertainment
  • People who've given up on inspirational quotes
  • Knife rolls with personality
  • Water bottles in the kitchen

Get First Access

Line cook stickers in development. Join the list.

Related Professions

Calendars for Line Cooks in Other Styles

Frequently Asked Questions

What year is the calendar for?
Current year calendars ship immediately. We drop next year's edition in Q4. Sign up for the email list to get notified.
Is every day different?
Yes. 365 unique pages of dark humor, sarcastic observations, and workplace truths. No repeats, just like your recurring sense of dread.
Are these about the rush?
Some are. Friday night service gets its due.
Do you cover different stations?
Grill, sauté, fry - building content for each.