Funny Calendars for Security Guards
You protect property and people, deal with folks who don't want to follow rules, and somehow stay alert through long quiet shifts.
Why We Get It
Security work is vigilance punctuated by chaos. You're essential but often invisible until something goes wrong.
Regular calendars show you inspirational quotes about believing in yourself. Our calendars show you the truth: that every day is another opportunity to question your life choices. A daily tear-off page of dark humor gives you something to look forward to each morning besides coffee. It's like a daily affirmation, but honest.
Calendars Features
- +365 daily pages of workplace-appropriate(ish) dark humor
- +Sturdy cardboard backing that stands on its own
- +Perforated pages for satisfying daily tears
- +Compact desktop size that fits any workspace
Perfect For
- Work bags with personality
- Water bottles on post
- Locker decor
- Gifts for guards
- Personal gear
- Break room entertainment
Calendars for Security Guards Coming Soon
Security guard stickers coming soon. Get on the list.
Calendars for Related Professions
Frequently Asked Questions
- Are these about long shifts?
- Some are. The boredom-to-chaos ratio is real.
- Do you cover different security types?
- Corporate, retail, event - building content.
- Are these uniform appropriate?
- Personal items only. Stay professional on duty.
- Can supervisors enjoy these?
- Absolutely. Security team solidarity.