Retirement Gifts Stickers
They survived. They're free. They deserve better than a generic card. Find the perfect stickers to mark the moment.
Why Stickers for Retirement Gifts
Stickers are the universal language of 'I'm over this but I'm still showing up.' They're small enough to fly under HR's radar, durable enough to survive the chaos of your job, and expressive enough to say what you can't say out loud. Slap one on your water bottle and let it do the talking while you maintain plausible deniability.
After decades of mandatory fun, terrible coffee, and pretending to care about synergy, your coworker has finally earned their escape. This isn't just a career milestone—it's a prison break. They've sat through thousands of meetings that could've been emails, smiled through countless reorganizations, and mastered the art of looking busy. A retirement gift should acknowledge the beautiful chaos they're leaving behind while celebrating the fact that they never have to set an alarm again.
What You Get
- +Premium vinyl that survives coffee spills, tears, and existential dread
- +Waterproof and scratch-resistant because your job is already hard enough
- +Easy peel-and-stick application for instant workplace personality
- +UV-resistant so your attitude lasts longer than your patience
Gift Ideas
- +A coffee mug that says 'I'm retired, your meeting is not my problem'
- +A countdown calendar they can dramatically throw away
- +A fake parking pass for 'Anywhere But Here'
- +A survival kit for their first Monday of freedom
- +A certificate of completion for Corporate America
Shop by Profession
Get First Access
Get early access to our most savage retirement gifts before they clock out for good. New sticker drops hit different. Get on the list before your coworkers beat you to the good ones.
Perfect For
- The coworker who's been counting down for years
- The boss who actually wasn't terrible
- The office legend everyone will miss
- The person who's seen some things
- Water bottles that need to make a statement
- Laptops that deserve better than corporate wallpaper
- Toolboxes that tell it like it is
- Hard hats that need some personality
Frequently Asked Questions
- How much should I spend on a retirement gift?
- Depends on how much you liked them. Quick coffee chat coworker? $20-30. Actual work friend who kept you sane? $50+. Person whose retirement is the only reason you haven't quit? Priceless (but maybe $75).
- Is it weird to get a funny gift for someone's retirement?
- Only if they have no sense of humor. If they survived corporate life this long, they definitely have one. Skip the generic 'World's Best Retiree' mug and get something that actually makes them laugh.
- Are these stickers actually waterproof?
- Yes. These bad boys survive water bottles, dishwashers, and whatever questionable liquids your job exposes you to. They're vinyl, UV-resistant, and built to outlast your will to work.
- Will these get me fired?
- Depends on your HR department and your placement strategy. We rate our stickers so you know which ones are break room only. Use discretion. Or don't. We're not your supervisor.