Retirement Gifts Posters for Carpenters
They survived. They're free. They deserve better than a generic card. The perfect posters for the carpenters in your life.
Why Posters for Carpenters
Carpentry is precision craft with real consequences. You create beauty from wood while dealing with unrealistic timelines.
You've seen enough eagles soaring over mountains with captions about 'TEAMWORK' to last several lifetimes. Our posters are the antidote. They acknowledge the reality of work: that sometimes the only way to get through the day is to laugh at the absurdity of it all. These are the posters you actually want on your wall.
About Retirement Gifts
After decades of mandatory fun, terrible coffee, and pretending to care about synergy, your coworker has finally earned their escape. This isn't just a career milestone—it's a prison break. They've sat through thousands of meetings that could've been emails, smiled through countless reorganizations, and mastered the art of looking busy. A retirement gift should acknowledge the beautiful chaos they're leaving behind while celebrating the fact that they never have to set an alarm again.
What You Get
- +Premium matte paper that looks professional from a distance
- +Vibrant prints that won't fade like your enthusiasm
- +Multiple sizes to fit any wall (or cubicle)
- +Frame-ready dimensions for the illusion of legitimacy
Gift Ideas
- +A coffee mug that says 'I'm retired, your meeting is not my problem'
- +A countdown calendar they can dramatically throw away
- +A fake parking pass for 'Anywhere But Here'
- +A survival kit for their first Monday of freedom
- +A certificate of completion for Corporate America
Perfect For
- The coworker who's been counting down for years
- The boss who actually wasn't terrible
- Home offices where you make the rules
- Break rooms that need an attitude adjustment
- Tool belts with personality
- Water bottles on site
Get First Access
Carpenter stickers coming soon. Get on the list.
Related Professions
Other Occasions for Carpenters
Frequently Asked Questions
- How much should I spend on a retirement gift?
- Depends on how much you liked them. Quick coffee chat coworker? $20-30. Actual work friend who kept you sane? $50+. Person whose retirement is the only reason you haven't quit? Priceless (but maybe $75).
- Is it weird to get a funny gift for someone's retirement?
- Only if they have no sense of humor. If they survived corporate life this long, they definitely have one. Skip the generic 'World's Best Retiree' mug and get something that actually makes them laugh.
- What sizes are available?
- We offer 8x10, 11x14, and 18x24 options. From subtle desk addition to full wall statement - choose your own adventure.
- Are these about measurements?
- Some are. Precision matters.