Dark Humor Gifts Mugs for Security Guards
Because sometimes you have to laugh to keep from screaming into the void. The perfect dark humor gifts mugs for the security guards in your life.
Why Dark Humor Gifts Mugs for Security Guards
Security work is vigilance punctuated by chaos. You're essential but often invisible until something goes wrong.
Dark humor isn't pessimism—it's advanced optimism. It's acknowledging that work can be soul-crushing while choosing to laugh about it anyway. These gifts are for the realists, the survivors, and anyone who's ever stared into the abyss of their inbox and felt it stare back. If gallows humor is your love language, welcome home.
The Vibe
- “I survived another meeting that should've been an email”
- “My soul left my body in Q3”
- “Dead inside but still clocking in”
- “This job is temporary. My resentment is forever.”
What You Get
- +Ceramic that holds heat longer than you hold your tongue
- +Dishwasher and microwave safe because life's already complicated
- +11oz or 15oz options depending on your caffeine dependency level
- +Print that won't fade no matter how many times you passive-aggressively sip
Perfect For
- Healthcare workers who've seen some things
- Anyone in their third career pivot
- Morning meetings where you need a buffer between you and your coworkers
- Desk decoration that doubles as a personality test
- Work bags with personality
- Water bottles on post
Get First Access
Security guard stickers coming soon. Get on the list.
Related Professions
Other Vibes for Security Guards
Frequently Asked Questions
- Is dark humor the same as being negative?
- No, it's being realistic with a sense of humor. Negative people complain. We make merch.
- Will HR have a problem with these gifts?
- HR has problems with everything. That's kind of their whole deal. But these are designed to be just vague enough.
- Are these mugs dishwasher safe?
- Yes. Dishwasher safe, microwave safe, and safe from your judgmental coworker's opinions. The print is sealed and won't fade with washing.
- Are these about long shifts?
- Some are. The boredom-to-chaos ratio is real.