Raunchy Desk Plates for Security Guards
HR's nightmare. Your work bestie's dream. Know your audience. The perfect raunchy desk plates for the security guards in your life.
Why Raunchy Desk Plates for Security Guards
Security work is vigilance punctuated by chaos. You're essential but often invisible until something goes wrong.
Gifts that cross the line—intentionally. These are not for the break room fridge or the all-hands meeting. They're for private exchanges between people who share a very specific sense of humor and have already established that boundaries are optional. Adults only, consenting parties only, HR-free zones only.
Fair Warning
- !Not suitable for professional gift exchanges
- !Know your recipient VERY well before purchasing
- !May contain adult language, themes, or imagery
- !Could definitely get you talked to by management
What You Get
- +Premium acrylic that looks expensive but costs less than your therapy
- +Sleek design that fits any desk setup from corner office to closet office
- +Easy-clean surface because coffee accidents happen
- +Subtle enough to survive management walkthroughs
Perfect For
- Desks that need more personality than a corporate-issued pencil cup
- Home offices where you make the rules
- Reception areas with a sense of humor
- Work bags with personality
- Water bottles on post
- Locker decor
Get First Access
Security guard stickers coming soon. Get on the list.
Related Professions
Need Something More Work-Safe?
Check out our SFW desk plates for security guards.
Browse Office-Appropriate Desk PlatesFrequently Asked Questions
- What are the desk plates made of?
- Premium acrylic with a high-quality print. They look professional enough to keep, but funny enough to actually want on your desk.
- What sizes are available?
- Standard desk plate size (8" x 2") that fits most desk setups. Big enough to read, small enough that HR might not notice during their rounds.
- Are these about long shifts?
- Some are. The boredom-to-chaos ratio is real.
- Do you cover different security types?
- Corporate, retail, event - building content.