Back to School Calendars for Security Guards
Summer's over. The existential dread returns. Welcome back to regularly scheduled chaos. The perfect calendars for the security guards in your life.
Why Calendars for Security Guards
Security work is vigilance punctuated by chaos. You're essential but often invisible until something goes wrong.
Regular calendars show you inspirational quotes about believing in yourself. Our calendars show you the truth: that every day is another opportunity to question your life choices. A daily tear-off page of dark humor gives you something to look forward to each morning besides coffee. It's like a daily affirmation, but honest.
About Back to School Gifting
Teachers gearing up for another year of underpaid heroism. Working parents celebrating that their kids are someone else's problem for 8 hours. Office workers who weirdly miss school supplies. Back to school energy hits different in the workplace.
August-September
$20-40
What You Get
- +365 daily pages of workplace-appropriate(ish) dark humor
- +Sturdy cardboard backing that stands on its own
- +Perforated pages for satisfying daily tears
- +Compact desktop size that fits any workspace
Perfect For
- Work bags with personality
- Water bottles on post
- Locker decor
- Desks that need daily entertainment
- People who've given up on inspirational quotes
- Teams who share a dark sense of humor
Get First Access
Security guard stickers coming soon. Get on the list.
Related Professions
Calendars for Security Guards - Other Holidays
Frequently Asked Questions
- What year is the calendar for?
- Current year calendars ship immediately. We drop next year's edition in Q4. Sign up for the email list to get notified.
- Is every day different?
- Yes. 365 unique pages of dark humor, sarcastic observations, and workplace truths. No repeats, just like your recurring sense of dread.
- Are these about long shifts?
- Some are. The boredom-to-chaos ratio is real.
- Do you cover different security types?
- Corporate, retail, event - building content.